Well then, here are a few (specifically, eleven) time wasters:
- Relax with your own custom 'sounds of nature' loop. Hint: Use the drop-down to change the first slider to 'vibe' and practice your own Daily Affirmation (Stuart Smalley cardigan not included.)
- Look at cool pictures of honeypot ants (Myrmecocystus sp., Camponotus inflatus), star-nosed moles (Condylura cristata), Harlequin frogs (Atelopus sp.), and other strange life forms. Hurry: some are endangered, and so this might be your last chance to see them.
- Constellate the news with Jonathan Harris's Universe. If that doesn't keep you enthralled for hours on end, try to figure out what his deal is with all the alliteration.
- Locate the Amityville Horror house on Google Maps. Hoaxerrific!
- Converse with a bot named A.L.I.C.E. or another named Jabberwacky. Invariably, my conversations with either of them have degenerated to furious name calling within minutes, perfectly simulating my interactions with real people, and thus passing the Turing Test.
- Watch Zack de la Rocha interview Noam Chomsky. Leftilicious!
- Thank SUV drivers for their courteous driving and general respect for others.
- Read the true story behind the JATO rocket car Darwin Award. Here's a version that's less likely to make your eyes bleed. [Note: Not really true in the sense of 'not being made up.']
- Play with this musical er, toy. For those of you who don't read French, La Pâte à Son means 'Goose Liver with Sound.' Similarly, tabarnac! is le français québécois for 'Dear me! I must not have the latest version of Shockwave. C'mon, load, you motherfucker!'
- Download free ebooks from Project Gutenberg. Can't read? They gots them new-fangled talkin' books too! Can read? Then become a proofreader and help out, lazyass.
- Learn how evolution of the mammalian ear allows us to distinguish between Metallica and Megadeth. So far, science has not yet been able to explain why you'd bother.
Have fun (and say 'Hi' to Anita for me)!