Friday, February 23, 2018

Hygge & the Brain

Me [walking while enjoying random Styx earworm]: "If walking to and from work today doesn't return my body to its svelte, 19-year-old physique, we'll know definitively that all of medical science is a lie."

Brain: "Hey! Hey! See that railing? What if...you licked it?"

Me: "What? I know that trick! It's metal and minus double-digits outside: I'll stick."

Brain: "Maybe you won't. You won't know unless you try."

Me: "We tried this! Remember the firefighter pole on the playground at recess in Grade 1? And then a few months later with the snow shovel? We go through this every time it gets cold. The experiment has been reproduced, and the results have been signed, sealed, delivered (I'm yours!)"

Styx earworm [annoyed]: "{Ahem!} ♬IT'S YOOOOOOOU, BABE, WHENEVER BLAH-BLAH SOMETHING AND I'VE HMMMM-THIIING ELSE!!♫"

Brain: "Look again. Maybe that railing isn't metal after all! What if it's a new kind of concrete you don't know about? That might taste fun."

Me: "Hmm. You think? What say you, Tongue?"

Tongue: "Leave me out of this, Mouth-Breather."

Me: "IT'S CALLED APNEA!"

Tongue: "Whatever, Trog. Anyway, I'm busy warring against incisors. Have at thee, occlusion! I shall worry you until I blister!"

Brain: "♪Let's all lick some raaailings, let's all lick some raaaaailings, let's all lick some raaaailings, and have ourselves a snack!♫"

Styx earworm [pissed off now]: "♫DO-LEE-LO-LAH-LO, DOO-LE-LO-LAH-LO, BABE, I LOVE YOU!♬"

Me [snapping out of spell]: "No, it's dirty."

Brain: "Lightly seasoned."

Me: "Nicked and abraded."

Brain: "Texture is tasty!"

Me: "What if a dog peed on it? Or someone spit at that exact spot?"

Brain: "Really? What are the chances of that?"

Me: "..."

[20 minutes later]

Me: "Mmmph. I yawys yated you, Bwain."

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